I have not been writing in ages. Which is a shame, because I just spent my afternoon rereading old journal posts – I go all the way back to 2003, it’s really amusing. I was such a dork – and I totally liked the idea of having this time machine to skip through. I even remember dreams that I had four years ago, just because I happened to write them down back then.
So, what have I been up to lately? I’ve been writing, not writing, writing again and currently am stuck in the non-writiness. Much to my own dismay. I’m especially tempted to continue Plain Flowers after I made this post, since it’s the last thing I updated my livejournal with a few months ago.
My birthday’s come and gone. It was really good to have all my friends together for once, High Tea and all. In the spur of the moment I had also invited Anna and her English boyfriend James. It was pretty fun to have them over, too. Something odd occurred during that birthday party. I guess it was bound to happen somehow: get our group together and there will be talk about the RPG. Thus much is inevitable. And there I was, joking about how we should make it into a musical, and suddenly there we were, discussing about making it into a musical film. I mean, for real. And we’re still working on that thought. Wouldn’t that be just one of the most amazing, insanity-driven projects ever?
I was talking about Plain Flowers. It is, as far as I’m concerned, the best story I’ve ever worked on. Not best as in Most Coherent Plot, or Advancing Character Development – that, I suppose, would be Jia en de Kattenrijders (even though I feel I’ve grown beyond that story now), or even Story And Depth (that would Tot Mensenstemmen Ons Weer Wekken, which I’m considering to redub De Kinderen van God or, alternatively, A Pain In The Ass) but certainly best as in Most Amusing, Most Fun To Write, Greatest Main Character So Far and other such categories that deal with the realms of light entertainment. And come on, it has FAIRIES! The bratty things. Not to mention swords and stones, princes, princesses, and persons that want to either become or kill said princes and princesses.
Reading The Gone-Away World from Nick Harkaway was really the best thing I could do, for it inspired me to effortlessly produce sentences of the following quality:
As soon as the first apples came down – I dutifully picked them up – something happened. At first it was just a rustle among the leaves, and I paid it no heed. But then the rustling turned into something less windy, more birdlike: a sort of chirruping, as if Millie had personally offended a flock of feminist lady-birds who were already in a bad mood because their husbands specifically and their male-dominated society in general had been oppressing them for years and it was time to take action and overthrow this ridiculous patriarchy but then the kids wouldn’t stop whining and wanting and finally there was some ludicrous mortal daring to interfere in their super-secret conference and now that mortal would see the wrath of the cranky Feminist Lady-Birds of the Apple Trees.
Or, and I’m particularly fond of this one:
‘Right over there,’ I pointed. It was a large boulder, almost entirely covered with mosses and other green things which I assumed were the local fauna, socializing with a spray of cute flora and perhaps just a hint of alien and very poisonous fungi thrown in for good measure. It looked exactly like the sort of boulder that would lead to other worlds. Taken into consideration, of course, that no boulder would ever really look like it was a genuine passageway to different dimensions – I mean, it’s a rock alright, and as far as I could tell it had no door.
It was steeping a little, leaning over to the downside of the hill, as if it was contemplating whether to roll down and see what life was like there, or best stay up and be safe rather than sorry. I imagine that stones must think very slowly, because all the flora, fauna and fungi told me that their host had been contemplating for quite some decades and was probably going to continue this line of thought for another hundred years before it would reach a sensible conclusion.
And lastly:
Then, a few things happened. I suppose they happened in a subsequent order, because most things do. But all went so fast that it was hard to keep track of any order at all. I heard a bump, and I felt a tug at my arm, causing me to almost stumble for a second time and I instinctively shut my eyes, because for some absurd, illogical reason the body thinks that, when faced with a crisis or on the verge of falling to the ground, it is best to close your eyes and stop seeing what is about to happen to you. This is, I am sure, a neurological mistake, a tiny electronic neuron gone awry during the course of evolution; or otherwise God was getting a little tired and let this one slip, because we all know that we must never, ever take our eyes off the enemy. Not even when that enemy is a hill with hard, dry ground and is littered with smaller and bigger stones.
I also heard voices, Cuckoo’s being the loudest. ‘Fuck!’ he exclaimed.
And Merope said, ‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ with a very unhappy sort of sarcasm, like he had been having one of the worst days in his life (which was probably true) and had, to top all things, now stepped in a fresh pile dog turd.
I opened my eyes and saw Millie. She was standing right in front of me, looking out of her depth and, very quietly, muttered: ‘Oh, bugger.’
And that’s where I stopped and never got going again. I mean, I had no reason to stop there. When I pressed the cntrl+s and closed the Word file, I never intended to not continue the following morning. No idea what happened. And I had such big plans. So, I’ll be forcing my fingers to produce words, I’ll just force scenes and sentences out of my keyboard. Sounds good, however need more tea to activate said procedure. Visit toilet first. Yes. And fill tummy, for tummy says ‘hungry’.
Well. On to business!
PS: I have a life outsise contemplating my writings. I have been, for example, been to an Open Day for my next study, for which I never can think of a coherent English name, but in Dutch is called Godsdienst-Pastoraal Werk. I guess something like Religion and Chaplaincy (Work? It doesn’t sound good AT ALL in English!) but could alternatively be translated as Loving People For A Living. I’ll be signing up as soon as possible.
PPS: As for the title of this entry: that's all very well for Hook, but what if your grandmother had seduced one back in her younger days, eh? Wouldn't that screw up your life? Thought so.