dawrei

 Okay.

 I started with  11.582 words in Total.

 Now I have 13,631. That’s 2,026 written in sixty minutes. With no potty breaks. I swear I didn’t even hear my parents talking anymore. Didn’t notice a thing. I would make this into a statistic for you, but the Zokutou Word Meter is broken. Happens every November. Oh well XD

So, what did I do? I went to Sonja’s and Laura’s birthday! I had been baking and decorating cookies for them the previous night and I was so tired when we finally got to Dordrecht but it was very good, despite my headaches. The cookies, by the way, bore some vague resemblances to Vincent Valentine/Shuyin, Sephiroth, Zuko, Aeneas (kinda? I think? Well, no, not really XD), David Tennant, YERED, Derantis/Adira and err…random stuff.

I really enjoyed having all of our little gang together again. Marleen and I went home next day and I remained surprisingly headacheless. Also, I managed to do some homework in the train.

I was getting a bit stressed out over this interview assignment since I had gotten no reply from the woman I had emailed. But I called her yesterday evening and I’m going there tomorrow morning, and I have my interview questions ready, so yay.

Also, Son and I talked…about tea. And about actually starting a…teahouse? In Drenthe? Once we’re done with our studies? Like, with a garden and flowers and…stuff? We talked about a lot of things really, about the serious stuff too and it really [i]does[/i] seem like a grand idea! Of course, this will be part-time, so I can do pastoral work and run a teahouse! It would be like a dream come true. We are so going to make this work, Sonja! :D

Alsoalso, since Burbick of the Verhalensite burned a cd rom with the musical Elisabeth for me, I FINALLY GOT TO SEE IT and it was even more awesome than I had thought. I am totally in love with it! Heartheartheart :D

Alsoalsoalso, I ordered Juliet Marillier’s new book Heart’s Blood a while ago and had actually hoped it would arrive today. Hmm. Well, maybe tonight. You never know with packages.

Presentation of biography yesterday evening. Once more we were divided in two groups of about four persons plus a teacher. It was really good. Also, I did really well. I was second to last and my story was pretty long…So at one point I was talking and I thought that everyone looked…bored? Did they find the story too longwinded? I had to finish it anyway, but when I fell silent at last, I was kinda…nervous. Like it had been too long or too much off topic.

But they were all really impressed O_o

I hadn’t been expecting that, so I was sorta…intimidated? In a good way. I really do enjoy the confident atmosphere of this class and I really like most of the classmates very well.

 Going to the cinema with Lisette tonight. I hope I will feel well, because I woke up this morning to discover that I am, really, snibverkouden. Where did that come from? I mean, I had a runny nose yesterday, and I guess I kept sneezing, but –snuff – my head feels stuffed with cottons right now and I keep sneezing and wheezing, not to mention snuffing (not as in dying, you smartasses).

Mijn hoofd voelt aan als schuimgebak! /ancient quote (from some old anime show called Mushrambo or something. Or Mushra…Or…What was it called? It was hilarious in Dutch. Esther and I have been using the quote ever since.)

<3 for teh new clothes. Otherwise I have:

-finished my theological biography

- finished my POP and SWOT (fancy, ey)

- made the mandatory appointment with school coach to finish said POP and SWOT

- bought pwesent for Sonja and GOT TO PICK A SECOND ITEM FOR FREE and it is SHINY!

- walked my feet off and am tired

So far for my day XD

Does this count as an update? XD

Well, never mind. The biography is, otherwise, a good thing. It makes me reflect on things again and I’m seeing new things too.

 And no - I didn’t update yesterday. I meant to, but errr….didn’t quite…do it. XD

I did interview my grandma though, so I didn’t have much journal-writing time anyways. It was really interesting to talk to her about her own times, when Nederland was just so Verzuild (is there even an English word for that?) and about her marriage with grandpa and her faith and church experiences etc. It was fun!

 Yeah, so, school. We had a practical class about interviewing and/or having a pastoral conversation with a person. We had some information, then some practice, then a discussion on how said practice went, then some more information, then a full hour of practice. We were divided in two groups of four people each, and went to sit separately. We were given a certain subject as a lead, and one person had to interview the other, while the other two observed respectively the interviewer and the one being interviewed. After that we gave each other some feedback, and switched. It went…really well, actually. The girl I had been interviewing said that I had been guiding her to the place she wanted to head to, which is pretty much a good thing, I think. At one point when I was being interviewed, I was asked why I used to be so “anti” (Christianity). And I suddenly found myself speechless. I just couldn’t answer! I had no bloody fucking clue what had made me detest it so.
Of course, I can give some examples of what I disliked about Christians or Christianity, but none of those could explain, really explain, what exactly had kindled all that resistance. I sat there, and felt momentarily stupefied.
The girl observing me justly remarked that this question in particular had provoked my emotions.
A funny thing to note was that L and I probably shouldn’t interview each other. We’ve been talking so much since we’ve been traveling together…We do seem to know quite a bit about each other already XD

 I dreamed about Jente this night. It was a bit odd and I can’t quite remember the details. Just that we heard the sound of her nails ticking on our floor, like they used to.  Then this morning I’m sitting on the couch where I usually sit. Jente used to be behind that place most of the time, sleeping. And I SWEAR this morning I heard something that was just like her breathing, as if she was sleeping right behind me once again. Somehow because of this she’s always kinda been the being behind me or something. So it’s really awkward to turn around and find that the place is, in fact, empty.
Aah. I do miss her.

 I’m now reading the book of the guy whose interview I linked to and talked about in my previous entry. It is, still, really inspiring. Really makes me realize how precious God and this faith is to me and it does kinda feel like being in love and I will neverever let this go. The way that this man writes and thinks about church and religion make so much sense to me. It also marks a clear (perhaps even liberating) line between church and religion on one side, belief on the other. The glory and the shame of the church are mentioned, and it’s good to admit that 2000 years of church history profoundly messed up and did glorious things both. This is why I can still love the church, as the hospital for sinners (a bunch of losers and people that mess up big time in all aspects of life that moderately matter) instead of a museum for saints.

 Okay, so rantraveramble. I’m cold. I want tea!

Ik heb besloten een klein experimentje te doen. Ik ga proberen om veertig dagen lang elke dag een update te schrijven in mijn livejournal. Soms friends-locked, soms open, Engels of Nederlands; maar net hoe het uitkomt. Daarbij neem ik mezelf voor om deze veertig dagen elke dag in elk geval een bepaald gebed aan te houden, waarin belangrijke punten die ik te snel vergeet aan de orde komen. Waarschijnlijk worden een hoop van deze veertigdagen-entries gewoon een hoop geneuzel want niet elke dag is spectaculair.

 Waarom veertig dagen? Veertig is nou eenmaal een interessant getal! Noach wachtte aan het einde van de zondvloed veertig dagen en nachten totdat de ark weer open kon, Mozes bleef veertig dagen en nachten op de Sinaïberg om de Tien Geboden te ontvangen. Bovendien trokken de Israëlieten veertig jaar (!) door de Sinaïwoestijn met aforementioned Mozes. En vergeet Jezus zelf niet, die na zijn doop veertig dagen in de woestijn vastte en verzocht werd. Etcetera. Veertig leek me het getal bij uitstek om eens gek te doen.

Een update in het Nederlands! :p

 Vannacht werd ik wakker van het onweer in mijn droom, maar volgens mij heeft het niet echt geonweerd. Het was wel warm, dus ik heb bijna de hele dag in de tuin gezeten met een boekje. Twee boekjes eigenlijk; Geketende Democratie van ene Hans van der Lugt (in samenwerking met NRC Handelsblad) over “Japan achter de schermen”, en een supercute boekje van Dorothy en William Wordsworth, met gedichtjes en dagboekstukjes over Grasmere, waar ze woonden. Ik ga deze zomervakantie ook in die regio op vakantie natuurlijk, en het begint aardig te kriebelen als ik erover lees. Paardrijden in Exmoor – ik weet niet hoelang ik het volhoud of hoeveel ik kan rijden, maar dat maakt me ook niet zoveel uit. Idyllisch wordt het toch wel, hehe.

 Ik ben vooral druk bezig met het uitdenken van mijn nieuwste idee. Ik hoop dat ik er een webcomic van kan maken, hoewel ik nog altijd meer vertrouwen heb in mijn schrijfskills dan in m’n tekenskills. Maar goed, we zien wel waar het schip strandt.

En ik wacht nog steeds op de uitslag van die stomme test…Twee weken was de termijn voor de uitslag, en daar zit ik nu toch wel tegenaan. Ik heb al gedroomd dat ik een 4,1 had gehaald (je moet in elk geval een 5.5 halen) en ook dat ik bijna een 10 had. Kan me niet voorstellen dat ik het niet gehaald zou hebben, maar voel me pas veilig als ik het zeker weet, haha.

I have not been writing in ages. Which is a shame, because I just spent my afternoon rereading old journal posts – I go all the way back to 2003, it’s really amusing. I was such a dork – and I totally liked the idea of having this time machine to skip through. I even remember dreams that I had four years ago, just because I happened to write them down back then.

So, what have I been up to lately? I’ve been writing, not writing, writing again and currently am stuck in the non-writiness. Much to my own dismay. I’m especially tempted to continue Plain Flowers after I made this post, since it’s the last thing I updated my livejournal with a few months ago.

My birthday’s come and gone. It was really good to have all my friends together for once, High Tea and all. In the spur of the moment I had also invited Anna and her English boyfriend James. It was pretty fun to have them over, too. Something odd occurred during that birthday party. I guess it was bound to happen somehow: get our group together and there will be talk about the RPG. Thus much is inevitable. And there I was, joking about how we should make it into a musical, and suddenly there we were, discussing about making it into a musical film. I mean, for real. And we’re still working on that thought. Wouldn’t that be just one of the most amazing, insanity-driven projects ever?

 I was talking about Plain Flowers. It is, as far as I’m concerned, the best story I’ve ever worked on. Not best as in Most Coherent Plot, or Advancing  Character Development – that, I suppose, would be Jia en de Kattenrijders (even though I feel I’ve grown beyond that story now), or even Story And Depth (that would Tot Mensenstemmen Ons Weer Wekken, which I’m considering to redub De Kinderen van God or, alternatively, A Pain In The Ass) but certainly best as in Most Amusing, Most Fun To Write, Greatest Main Character So Far and other such categories that deal with the realms of light entertainment. And come on, it has FAIRIES! The bratty things. Not to mention swords and stones, princes, princesses, and persons that want to either become or kill said princes and princesses.

Reading The Gone-Away World from Nick Harkaway was really the best thing I could do, for it inspired me to effortlessly produce sentences of the following quality:

 As soon as the first apples came down – I dutifully picked them up – something happened. At first it was just a rustle among the leaves, and I paid it no heed. But then the rustling turned into something less windy, more birdlike: a sort of chirruping, as if Millie had personally offended a flock of feminist lady-birds who were already in a bad mood because their husbands specifically and their male-dominated society in general had been oppressing them for years and it was time to take action and overthrow this ridiculous patriarchy but then the kids wouldn’t stop whining and wanting and finally there was some ludicrous mortal daring to interfere in their super-secret conference and now that mortal would see the wrath of the cranky Feminist Lady-Birds of the Apple Trees.

 Or, and I’m particularly fond of this one:

 ‘Right over there,’ I pointed. It was a large boulder, almost entirely covered with mosses and other green things which I assumed were the local fauna, socializing with a spray of cute flora and perhaps just a hint of alien and very poisonous fungi thrown in for good measure. It looked exactly like the sort of boulder that would lead to other worlds. Taken into consideration, of course, that no boulder would ever really look like it was a genuine passageway to different dimensions – I mean, it’s a rock alright, and as far as I could tell it had no door.

It was steeping a little, leaning over to the downside of the hill, as if it was contemplating whether to roll down and see what life was like there, or best stay up and be safe rather than sorry. I imagine that stones must think very slowly, because all the flora, fauna and fungi told me that their host had been contemplating for quite some decades and was probably going to continue this line of thought for another hundred years before it would reach a sensible conclusion.

 And lastly:

Then, a few things happened. I suppose they happened in a subsequent order, because most things do. But all went so fast that it was hard to keep track of any order at all. I heard a bump, and I felt a tug at my arm, causing me to almost stumble for a second time and I instinctively shut my eyes, because for some absurd, illogical reason the body thinks that, when faced with a crisis or on the verge of falling to the ground, it is best to close your eyes and stop seeing what is about to happen to you. This is, I am sure, a neurological mistake, a tiny electronic neuron gone awry during the course of evolution; or otherwise God was getting a little tired and let this one slip, because we all know that we must never, ever take our eyes off the enemy. Not even when that enemy is a hill with hard, dry ground and is littered with smaller and bigger stones.
I also heard voices, Cuckoo’s being the loudest. ‘Fuck!’ he exclaimed.
And Merope said, ‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ with a very unhappy sort of sarcasm, like he had been having one of the worst days in his life (which was probably true) and had, to top all things, now stepped in a fresh pile dog turd.
I opened my eyes and saw Millie. She was standing right in front of me, looking out of her depth and, very quietly, muttered: ‘Oh, bugger.’

 And that’s where I stopped and never got going again. I mean, I had no reason to stop there. When I pressed the cntrl+s and closed the Word file, I never intended to not continue the following morning. No idea what happened. And I had such big plans. So, I’ll be forcing my fingers to produce words, I’ll just force scenes and sentences out of my keyboard. Sounds good, however need more tea to activate said procedure. Visit toilet first. Yes. And fill tummy, for tummy says ‘hungry’.

Well. On to business!

 PS: I have a life outsise contemplating my writings. I have been, for example, been to an Open Day for my next study, for which I never can think of a coherent English name, but in Dutch is called Godsdienst-Pastoraal Werk. I guess something like Religion and Chaplaincy (Work? It doesn’t sound good AT ALL in English!) but could alternatively be translated as Loving People For A Living. I’ll be signing up as soon as possible.